Monday, November 17, 2008

To Whom It Might Also Concern

Dears Bars, Pubs and Food Establishments of the Northeastern Seaboard:

When a patron asks for a Coca Cola Classic, that patron actually wants a Coca Cola Classic. If you only have Pepsi, do not assume that the patron is indifferent. The patron is tired of accidentally having a sip of that nasty stuff when really wanting a Coca Cola Classic. Simply inform that patron that you have Pepsi products, and then the patron can order a water with lemon.

There is a difference, and yes, I can tell!

Kind Regards,

Saturday, November 08, 2008

To Whom It May Concern

Dear Ladies of New York,

I just thought I should let you know that leggings are not pants. Please stop assuming that they are interchangeable. I no longer want to see your butt jiggle as I walk behind you down the street.

Thank you and with all due respect,