Secrets Secrets

I'm obsessed with secrets. I even use Secret deodorant. I don't like to keep them or make them because I never can remember them and find it impossible to keep them, but I love getting people to tell me them. I especially love it when people tell me other people's secrets. Warning: never trust anyone with your secret.

A few years ago, when I lived in Salt Lake I began gathering secrets from strangers and friends. It actually began as an ice breaker. Hey, I'm Alisa. Do you have any secrets? This obviously elicited a laugh out of people because they didn't think I was serious. I'll have you know that I am always serious.

So, the secret collection began slowly. I began convincing people that I was writing a book full of secrets that I had learned about people. (I've since discovered that someone actually stole my idea and did a book of other people's secrets: don't remember who or the title but ask Courtney if you are interested in more information) This made me an automatic authority and people were much more willing to open up. Unfortunately, my plan was flawed. I never carried paper or pencil with me. Thus relying on the memory of a two year old (my own memory level) made it virtually impossible to remember any of the secrets I learned.

Luckily, I was able to store just a few that I will now disclose to the world. This will help clear up my brain for more important things to remember like things I want to get for my birthday.

Jason Burton: he thinks the governor of Utah has a hot wife. (lamest secret ever but this is all I could ever get out of him)
Jon Madsen: he shared secrets about his roommates--awesome!!
Clint: sleeps with a stuffed animal
Joe: is afraid of the dark

Sad, I really just sat here for another minute trying to think if I could remember anyone's secrets. This is really all I could come up with.

Last night while playing one of my favorite games created by Courtney and myself (the story game) I was able to gather additional secrets without even having to use the "I'm collecting secrets line." It was amazing.

The topic given to Vicky was lies. Everyone knows this has got to be a good story going into it. Vicky tells the story of her friend that almost failed her driving test. In and of itself, not too exciting or impressive. My own sister failed the test three times. However, the secret was the lie behind the almost fail. This girl--Vicky later confessed her name to be Debbie (I think, honestly I can't remember)--was the last of her little group to turn 16 and get her license. She was a very cautious driver and obeyed all traffic laws. She went into the test with confidence and a positive attitude. During the test she almost hit an old lady. That is correct, she almost crashed into a female pedestrian of significant age. According to Vicky, the minimum deduction for almost hitting a moving object is 20 points. So, the near-hitting experience was quite traumatic on young Debbie and she began to sob in front of the instructor. He gave her a 72, thus barely passing the test. Debbie confessed this only to Vicky who was sworn to secrecy. Now, Debbie's story is out there...sorry Debbie, I'm sure you are an excellent drive. Such a great secret was told by Vicky in the company of strangers to Debbie all for our entertainment and the story game.

It makes me think: what is the purpose of a secret? Do they really save you from yourself? I mean, aren't you therefore forced to live with the guilt? Vicky's story of Debbie prompted Courtney to tell her biggest secret story. It was awesome!! I cannot repeat it because Courtney actually lives with me and could quite possibly beat me up if she wanted to. My neck is still sore--I'm a gimp. Anyway, her secret made her physically ill for a year until it was resolved. How did this protect her? Maybe that is where my fascination with secrets came from. Maybe my own apathy for keeping secrets stems from the fact that I don't believe in them rather than my inability to remember it was a secret or inablitily to stop talking.

I will have to agree with the lesson I learned from watching The Office on Thursday:

Secrets secrets are no fun.
Secrets secrets hurt someone.

However, I concede that all of this goes out of the window if the keeping, telling and retelling of secrets is for the entertainment value they possess. I maintain that humor trumps all!